No More Mario
by Kaibigan
Summary: A Princess are supposed to marry a Prince, right? Then why is Peach going out with Mario, A plumber? Chapter 7 is up! ((finally)) Marth is kidnapped er princenapped! Who is responsible?
1. The Princess and the Plumber

Author's Note: I do not own SSBM. Nintendo does. Please R+R. Thank you. ~~Kaibigan~~  
  
Brrring! Brrrrring! Peach's alarm clock rang at 8:00 am. "Ahhh! Another great day! I have to get ready for that date with Mario! He said he will pick me up by 10!" Peach said as she skipped to her luxurious bathroom. "He said he's gonna take me somewhere special! And special means all dressed up!" Peach took a bath and then ran to her closet to pick out a dress.  
  
"I wonder which one I should wear..." She looked left to right in her wardrobe at the same pink dresses she always wears. "I know!" She stretched her arm to the very end of the cabinet and grabbed a white dress. "I didn't think I still had this! I thought I only had my pink ones in here! Now that I found a dress, I just have to put it on and Mario will be totally satisfied with me!" Peach quickly put it on.  
  
It was 9:10, so Peach just sat in her playing room and played video games (of Mario of course) with her toad friends for a long time. The next time she looked at the clock, it was 10:30. "Where's Mario?"  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile at Mario and Luigi's house, Mario was sleeping the morning away. Luigi was looking at Mario's planner out of curiosity and saw that he had a date with Peach 30 minutes ago. He ran to his brother's bed.  
  
"Mario! Mario! Mama mia! You have a date with Peach!" He cried in his Italian accent.  
  
Mario stopped his snoring and got up in a flash exclaimed, "Mama mia! I do!" He jumped out of bed, changed into his regular clothes, brushed his teeth, and ran out the door. (Ick! He didn't even put on deodorant!)  
  
It was 10:45 by the time Mario reached Peach's kingdom and banged at her door. Peach answered the knock right away because she was standing by the door, waiting for her late date.  
  
"Where have you been?" she bellowed.  
  
"My princess. Do not be so cross. I have just forgotten about the time!"  
  
"And why are you wearing your work clothes? You said you were gonna take me somewhere special today!"  
  
"I was! I was going to take you to IHOP for a pancake breakfast. Oh, I love your dress! It looks beautiful on you!"  
  
Peach grumbled. "That's it! I've had it with you! You're just a stupid plumber...." She paused and thought about what she said. "That's right... you're only a plumber! And I am a princess! What am I doing?! Dating a plumber?"  
  
Mario just stared at Peach dimwittedly.  
  
"That's it Mario! We are through! From now on, I'm gonna find me a prince! That's what a princess should be looking for! Not a dumb old fat plumber!"  
  
"Fat?! That's fine with me!" Mario stomped away angrily while Peach stood there laughing, but Mario really had his heart broken.  
  
As Peach saw Mario plod away, she said, "I might've been a little hard on Mario. But now, I have a new ambition. To find a Prince!"  
  
((to be continued...))  
  
Sorry this chapter is so short (it's pretty much a prologue anyway). This is my first fan fic that I have actually kept (because I've erased all my other fics ;;;) and submitted to a web site. Please bear with me. Updates may be slow, sorry! Please review after reading! 


	2. Meet the Princes

Author's Note: I do not own SSBM. Nintendo does. Imagenashyun helps me edit my stories. Please R+R. No flames please! (they hurt!) ::kaibigan gets burned by her first flame:: Aiyee! ::starts running around trying to put out the flame:: Thank you. ~~Kaibigan~~  
  
"Now, where do I start off in finding a prince?" Peach spoke to herself. "I know! There's a tournament held today! Maybe I can find a prince there!" Peach left her kingdom and danced her way to the tournament. When she reached the appointed place, a cloud of dust came charging right at her.  
  
"Princess! Princess!" The dust cleared and Bowser emerged out of it. He stuck out his hands which held beautiful flowers. "Flowers for you! Will you be my queen? I heard about your breakup with Mario!"  
  
"Well, good news does travel fast. I'm sorry, but I'm looking for a prince. Not some overgrown walking cactus with red moss growing over his head." With that, she walked off, leaving the King of Koopas behind.  
  
"Oh! The pain of rejection!" Bowser cried. "How many times do I have to experience it?"  
  
"Why don't you just-a give-a up on-a her?" said Luigi, who just suddenly appeared beside him.  
  
Because of the abrupt appearance of Luigi, Bowser jumped in fright. In answer, he clenched his fist, "because I love her!!!"  
  
"But she will only reject you," said Mario sullenly as he appeared between the two fighters.  
  
Peach daintily pranced around, looking at each man seeing if he had any sign of royalty on him. Soon she gazed upon the handsome Marth. Immediately, she marched right up to him. "Are you a prince?"  
  
The prince of Altea looked at the blonde princess. "Can't thee tell? I wear a tiara. I'm dressed in the finest of robes. At least the finest of you all. I-"  
  
"Ugh. Tiara's are for princesses like me. See? I'm wearing a tiara." Peach pointed to her crown.  
  
"That is a crown. Now-"  
  
"Forget it. You are too vain for me." She stomped off in disappointment.  
  
"What a dumb blonde. She obviously can't match my beauty, and therefore is jealous. What a vain princess. Tis not a worthy girl."  
  
No sooner than when she left Marth, she found Roy nearby talking to the Hero of Time. "Wow! He's so handsome! A lil pudgy, but not fat like Mario! And tall too!" Instantly, she advanced up to the prince of Pharae. "You!" she pointed at him.  
  
Roy discontinued his talk with Link. "Yes?" he replied, looking at the princess.  
  
"You must be a prince! You have the looks, the clothes, the-"  
  
"If thou must really know, yes. I am a prince. The prince of the kingdom of Pharae," he said proudly.  
  
"Wow. Will you be my boyfriend?"  
  
Roy just looked at the blonde. "I didn't know thou was so forward. I can not be thy partner, but be thou's protector."  
  
"Good!" she smiled. "Then protect me from him!" She pointed to Mario who was dragging himself at a distance.  
  
"Not a very tough man, is he?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why do you need protection from him?"  
  
"He's madly in love with me!"  
  
Mario came closer to his beloved princess with a handful of picked flowers. "Peach, flowers-a for-a you. Will you-a take me back?"  
  
"No! You! Uhhh...." she pointed at Roy.  
  
"Roy."  
  
"Yah! Keep him away from me! You said you'd protect me! So protect me from him!"  
  
Roy sighed. He walked up to the sorrowful plumber. "I'm sorry sir, but I have to ask you to please step away from the Princess."  
  
"Oh-a, Peach! You've-a already-a found a Prince to-a replace me!" Mario clenched his fist in disappointment. "What-a have I done wrong-a to you?"  
  
"You're never on time for dates, you're always wearing your work clothes everywhere, it looks like it has never been washed, and lastly, YOU ARE A FAT PLUMBER!"  
  
"Princess," interrupted the prince, "do not be so harsh on the poor, pathetic man."  
  
"Poor-a? Pathetic? How-a dare-a you call me-a that! I-a challenge you-a for the princess' hand-a!"  
  
"Actually, I only said to protect the woman. I go by the gentleman's code. I never really felt any strong feelings for her. Princess Zelda is a more desirable woman."  
  
Peach snorted. "Well, please win! This man is clingy! He has no purpose in life!"  
  
"But-a Princess, I've-a rescued you-a in-a many cases. We've-a loved-a each other for a very long-a time. Can't-a you see? I-a go through-a many troubles for-a you. I've-a defeated Bowser every time-a for you because he- a tries to steal-a you away. Whenever that happens-a, you-a call out-a my name. Every thing-a I do is-a for your own-a sake!" Mario protested.  
  
"Awwwwww...." said all the other Smashers, who have been watching the scene between Mario, Peach, and Roy, and felt sorry for the plumber.  
  
Peach felt sorry, but felt like she shouldn't back down on her goal to have a royal boyfriend. "I'm sorry, Mario! I've told you already. We are through." She grabbed hold of the flowers and threw them down at the pavement and began to walk away.  
  
Mario's head sunk.  
  
"What about that challenge?" asked Roy.  
  
Mario's head popped up. "I still-a challenge you!" Determination was clearly on his mind and in his eyes.  
  
"Fine. The stage will be Hyrule Temple. Let's go now."  
  
"It's-a decided then. Let's-a go."  
  
The two Smashers raced to the temple. When they reached the appointed place, the two fighters took their fighting stances and began to attack. Roy did his dragon killer with his sword, the Sword of Seals, on his opponent and hit him with the strongest point on his sword, the middle, and hurt him severely. Mario fought back with his super jump punch, which did not do much damage compared to Roy's Dragon Killer. Mario attacked again, only with his Fire Glove, but Roy used his Counter to backfire him. The plumber was about to throw his Fireball at the prince when Roy grabbed his hand to keep him from throwing it.  
  
"I entered this tournament so I can fight. I accepted this challenge not for Peach, but because I am no coward. I will triumph!"  
  
"I-a will-a not lose-a this battle, I-a assure you!" retorted Mario.  
  
((to be continued...)) 


	3. Of Peach and Men

Author's Note: I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in a while. I'm sorry if you have been waiting for a while. I've been pretty busy.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the SSBM characters. Although I wish I could own Marth, Roy, and Link. Hehehe...sexy mamas.....::Kaibigan drools:: don't mind me....  
  
Roy broke his grip on Mario and shoved him away. The both of them took their stances again. With his Sword of Seals at his side, Roy looked hard at the plumber as Mario looked hard at him.  
  
"Well, people of the SSBM world! This is the fight between Mario and Roy! Who will win? Who will be kicked out of the tournament? You'll find out if you keep watching, SSBM live!" yelled the announcer.  
  
In a blink of an eye, Mario and Roy dashed at each other, getting ready to attack ferociously. Mario, once he got the chance, did his Mario Tornado and his Super Jump Punch, hurting Roy and giving him a certain amount of damage. Again, Roy did his Dragon Killer then did his Double Edge Dance.  
  
"Wow! This battle is a battle of the century! What will happen next? Who shall win?! Will it be-"  
  
"Shut up!" yelled Mario and Roy in unison.  
  
"Whoa, tough crowd. Well, actually, they're the fighters."  
  
"I-a will win-a Peach-a back!" Mario bellowed as he used his Cape attack.  
  
"You may want Peach, making her an inspiration. But, my inspiration is victory and honor! No one shall defeat me!" cried Roy as he did began to attack back to the point that the next hit would knock Mario out of the tournament. Roy's damage was also at the point that the next hit would knock him out too.  
  
Mario and Roy took their stances again. The next attack would take out one of them. Both of them were sweating and throbbing of pain from each other's attacks. Roy began charging his sword, making his sword aglow. Confused, Mario was new to this attack from Roy therefore taking a while to finally realize that this attack that the Prince is doing takes a while. He sprinted to the Prince, who's sword been all aglow. As soon as he met the pathway of the sword, Roy unleashed his Flare Blade (I'm unsure of the attacks name!!!) to the unaware Mario sending him out of the arena.  
  
"And the winner is Roy of Pharae!" announced the intercom.  
  
Roy proudly looked around, seeing many people crowding around with cheers and boos. "At least I won," he scoffed. He put away his trusty sword in its scabbard. Mario was dragging himself behind Roy, badly hurt, as the Princess Toadstool came running towards the two men.  
  
"Oh!" cried Peach with arms wide open, "I do hope you are not badly hurt!"  
  
To Mario, it seemed like the Princess was looking straight at him. "Oh, Peach! I wasn't-"  
  
"Oh, Roy!" Peach threw her arms around the Prince. Flustered, Roy waved his arms around from the sudden hug.  
  
"Gaaaaaah! Get off me! I didn't know thou was truly so forward!"  
  
"Oh, sorry," Peach replied as she took her arms slowly off the Prince.  
  
"Oh, Princess," said the plumber sullenly.  
  
The announcements of Mario's defeat rang throughout the whole tournament, his elimination from the competition. All while Mario still lay on the same ground he saw his Princess throw her arms around another man than himself. He watched as they walked off together. Peach was so happy, though Roy was so annoyed. Angrily, he swore that he will get Peach back. Still, he does everything for her. "Oh, Princess. I miss seeing you smile for me," he whispered to himself.  
  
"Roy, you'll still protect me from the lunatic plumber, right?" asked Peach as she laid out a picnic for the victor.  
  
"Princess. That man loves you very much. Why did you leave him? It's clear he intends to share a life with you. You are his very inspiration."  
  
Peach snorted. "That's all he lets people see. He's always wearing his work clothes. It doesn't look like he washes them. He's late for dates. And his idea for a romantic place to eat is IHOP!"  
  
"O.K. He made mistakes. But doesn't he do it all for you?"  
  
The Princess remained silent.  
  
"Besides, I can't eat this food of yours. I'm going out with Marth in five minutes."  
  
Peach gasped. "You're," she pointed at him, "you're gay? You rather go out with men?"  
  
"Nay! I meant like," he put his fingers in form of quotation marks, "'hanging out with my boys.' Whatever you people this day and age say things. I am not a homosexual." With that, he walked off.  
  
Peach looked on as her "bodyguard" walked off. "Well, I'm having second thoughts, but I still want a Prince for a boyfriend, not a plumber. I'm gonna try to keep this up as much as I can."  
  
"Marth!" called Roy from a distance as he waved for his fellow Prince's attention.  
  
The blue-haired Prince turned around as he finished talking to the commander of the StarFox team. "Roy! Come hither!"  
  
The redhead dashed to his friend's side. "What's going on?"  
  
"I'm sorry. I know we were supposed to go eat, but Fox here has challenged me to a fight in fifteen minutes. Will you watch me? That it if thou's not busy."  
  
"Sure. I have nothing planned-"  
  
"Don't-a be so sure-a about that!" cried an Italian voice from afar. Soon, Mario, in bandages, appeared at the horizon. "I challenge you again!"  
  
Roy looked at his defeated opponent. "I'm sorry. I rather not fight injured men. Besides, we just had a fight two hours ago. You must be weak from earlier. You're eliminated from the tournament, thou does not remember?"  
  
"This is-a an outside-a challenge! You shall-a wager Peach! The prize for-a the victor! Let's-a fight! Right-a here and right-a now!"  
  
Roy sighed. "Peach is nothing to me. She is such a nuisance. You can have her for all I care. Not that she'll agree. At least wait until your injuries heal. I like to fight formidable opponents. How about we have this fight in three days?"  
  
"Again? Another fight? For me?" Peach asked the two men.  
  
"P... Peach? Did-a you come for-a me?" asked the bandaged plumber.  
  
"Course not. I came for my honey bun of a Prince!" She placed her arms around the Prince once again.  
  
"Gaaaah! Do not do that again!" cried the swordsman.  
  
Mario laughed. "I did-a not mind at-a all when she-a did that to me."  
  
"Well, enjoy those memories. You won't know the feeling anymore." Peach stuck her tongue out.  
  
Marth laughed. "I'm glad this blonde does not hang around me. I scared her off with my beauty." Again, the Prince chuckled. "I'm just too beautiful, and she does not want a boyfriend more beautiful than she."  
  
"Yo, little boy blue," called Fox. "Our battle's now. On the Great Fox."  
  
"I'll see you later, Roy! Hey, can't we eat first?" he asked the fox.  
  
"Naw! I wanna fight!"  
  
The Prince and the anthro ran off to their battle.  
  
"Grr... that vain Prince makes me mad."  
  
"Princess." Mario clutched her skirt.  
  
"Get off me!" she kicked him off.  
  
"Princess, do not add insult to injury!" Roy looked to the way Fox and Marth went. "I think I'll go watch Marth's battle." Roy ran to his friend's arena.  
  
"No wait! Wait, I don't like that Marth. Ack! That means," Peach looked at the unconscious man at her feet, "I'm going to be alone with Mario! Uhhh..."  
  
Mario's eyes opened again. He grasped the pink skirt again. "Oh, Princess. We are-a alone. Please-a be mine again."  
  
"No!" she shoved the plumber off. "I think I'll watch Marth instead." And ran off.  
  
"Not again. How many times must I run after her." He dragged himself on the road to the Great Fox battle. On the way there, he saw his younger brother.  
  
"Mario. Running-a after Peach-a again?" inquired Luigi.  
  
"What-a else can I do? I want her back."  
  
"Stop-a running after-a her and run-a away. Play-a hard to get. Act-a like you don't care. She-a might grovel for you-a then."  
  
"I can't. She'll-a see me right-a through. Now-a excuse me. I'm-a going to the Great Fox." Mario continued his dragging himself.  
  
"My-a brother is-a so stupid. Blinded-a by-a lost love. I-a admire him-a for that." Luigi began heading toward the meeting hall of SSBM.  
  
***  
  
"Wow! Is this a great battle people!" cried the announcer. "Marth and Fox are equal in battle! Who will win? Marth of Altea? Or Fox of Lylat?"  
  
"God, will that announcer shut up?" complained Fox. "Of course I will win!"  
  
"Don't be so cocky, fox boy!" bellowed Marth.  
  
"Oh, Roy! Isn't this battle exciting?" Peach squeezed Roy's arm.  
  
Roy snorted.  
  
"Oh. Are you mad because I'm not watching you? That's okay! I have eyes only for you, my prince!"  
  
Again, Roy snorted. "Well, my eyes are on Marth right now, but you are annoying me right now."  
  
Peach stared blankly at the prince. "Are you gay? I mean, I already asked you before, but are you gay?"  
  
"Of course I'm not. How could I be happy right now? You are clinging to me like a barnacle!"  
  
"No! I mean homosexual! I mean, you said your eyes are on Marth and not on me!"  
  
"Do you take me as-" Roy paused. "If I told you I was," he put four fingers in quotation marks, "'gay', would you leave me alone?"  
  
Peach looked at her prince with disgust. "I would not want a boyfriend who's not straight!"  
  
"Okay!" Roy stood up among the crowds and began waving his arms. "Go Marth, honey! You know I love thee, my burning hunk of love!"  
  
Marth looked at his friend confused. "What?"  
  
"Don't take your eyes off me, fool!" Fox yelled as he used his Fox Tail against Marth.  
  
"Hey!" Peach bopped the red-haired prince. "You're doing that on purpose!"  
  
Above the two fighters, a white platform appeared.  
  
"What is this? A new fighter is coming on stage? Who is it?"  
  
The glowing white platform came down and Mario appeared on it. He landed on stage, separating the two combatants. Grabbing a microphone from nowhere, he exclaimed, "Princess Peach! I-a still love you! Be-a mine again!"  
  
Peach snorted. "He's just trying to impress me." But deep inside, Peach was impressed with Mario's endeavors.  
  
"I'm sorry Mario, but," Fox tripped the injured plumber off the Great Fox. "You have to go."  
  
"Aaaaaah!" cried Mario as he fell down to the city.  
  
"Don't take YOUR eyes off me, fool!" Marth used his Dragon Killer against his opponent.  
  
"Oh, what happened to Mario?" asked Peach.  
  
Roy looked at the Princess. "See? You still care for your former lover."  
  
"Well, it wasn't like I was really concerned!" Peach stammered.  
  
***  
  
Five minutes later...  
  
"Oh, look! The vendor person is here! Yo! Over here! I wanna hot-dog!" shouted Captain Falcon, who happened to be watching the battle between Marth and Fox.  
  
"Ooh! I want something! Roy would you like anything?" Peach got her purse and turned around to call over the vendor. Mario happened to be in her face as she turned around wearing a vendor's clothes with a tray of hot-dogs.  
  
"What-a would-a you like-a Princess? I'll-a give it to you-a for free."  
  
"Ack! How did you survive that fall? And how did you get here so fast? And you're covered in more bandages!"  
  
"I-a can't die yet. Not-a without you by-a my side."  
  
"It is finished!" Marth cried as he used his Dolphin Slash as his final attack on the vulpine.  
  
"Yaaaaaah!" howled Fox as he flew off the stage. The crowd stared with big eyes as Fox seemed right to head toward the stands where all the fans were. Screaming, the people began climbing out of the stadium.  
  
"Roy, I think we should go. Fox is heading our way!" Peach scrambled out of her chair.  
  
"I think I'll stay," Roy answered.  
  
"Princess! Wait! I thought-a you wanted-"  
  
*THUD!!!* Before anyone would say, "HEADS UP!!!", Fox landed on Mario.  
  
"You have the worst luck, Mario. That makes our battle next week for your injuries."  
  
"Ouch," groaned Mario from under the unconscious mammal.  
  
***  
  
At the Meeting Hall, where Luigi watched the battle in a TV screen, he suddenly spat out his soda. "Ay, my-a sweet brother! My-a sweet- a...stoopid... brother..."  
  
((to be continued...)) 


	4. When Zelda met Roy

Author's Note: Eek! Finals suck! They keep us students so busy! Grrr.. Well, I finally found the time to type this chapter!!!  
  
Disclaimer: No once again I do not own any of the SSBM chararcterz. But I really, really, really wish that I can own Marth, Roy, and Link (Sexy Mamaz)! *drool*  
  
***  
  
"Dr. Mario!" Roy called out to the physician from afar.  
  
"Yes?" replied the doctor.  
  
"I have a patient for thee!" Dragged behind the redhead was Mario, unconscious.  
  
"Oh, its-a Mario. I guess I have to put more bandages on him, though I just did a while ago," sighed Dr. Mario as he took out more bandages.  
  
"And do not forget this vulpine," cried Marth as he dragged the unconscious Fox behind him.  
  
"Okee Dokee," he replied. "Time to get the thermometer out."  
  
Fox heard this through his sensitive hearing and got up quickly to run away.  
  
Watching the mammal run away, Dr. Mario put the thermometer back in its place. "Okee Dokee. It's just Mario now."  
  
Roy and Marth left the clinic, and Roy turned to his bet friend. "Marth."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Will thou help thy best friend with my plan to rid of Peach?"  
  
"It depends on what the plan is."  
  
Roy looked at his friend nervously, kicking the dirt. "Would thou be my boyfriend?"  
  
Marth's eyes widened. "Wh.Wha.What? I mean, I thought thou were only jesting when thou exclaimed thy love for me." stammered the blue-haired prince.  
  
"Fool! That is my plan to rid of Peach."  
  
"My apologies, dear friend. Thou seemed serious when thou said that." Marth pondered about homo-sexuality. "How about asking the Princess Zelda to be thy girlfriend?"  
  
"That does seem easier. Let us go and find her."  
  
Marth and Roy walked further into the SSBM tournament arenas until they found Zelda with the Hero of Time watching a battle between Ness and Falco.  
  
".And Malon, boy has she grown in the last seven years! Especially her bus- "  
  
"Okay, Link! Can we stop talking about Malon? (Me a pro-Malon/Link!) What about me, Link? You spend more time with me, yet you seem to know more things about Malon than me!"  
  
"I'm so observant, eh?" replied Link.  
  
"Gaaah!" screamed Zelda in frustration.  
  
Roy and Marth looked at each other, eyes and mouths twitching. The red-head poked his friend at his side. "Marth, thou go ask her for me."  
  
Marth sighed and tapped the Hylian Princess on the shoulder. "Excuse me, Lady Zelda."  
  
Zelda turned around and gawked upon the handsome Prince of Altea. She turned to her right to see Link glaring at her. She smiled. "Yes, good sir?" The beautiful princess gazed upon the blue-haired young man.  
  
Marth blushed. And stammered, "I-I was wondering if thou can go out with-"  
  
"With you? Sure!" Zelda ran her index finger up Marth's arm. "You sure are handsome."  
  
This caused the Prince to blush more violently. "Beautiful is more like it. Uh... Oh! Thou can be so-"  
  
Roy cleared his throat.  
  
"I mean, I was wondering if thou can go out or be the temporary girlfriend of my companion, Roy."  
  
Roy stepped up to the Hylian Princess, while Link was burning with envy.  
  
"Why, of course! Roy is much more handsome than you!" Zelda cooed.  
  
Roy blushed a little.  
  
"Hmph. Roy may be more handsome than I, but I," Marth placed his right hand on his chest, "I am far more beautiful."  
  
Roy, Zelda, and Link stared at the narcissist Prince with a sweatdrop. "Uhhhh.right."  
  
Marth cockily lifted his nose in the air, his lips pursed together. "Thou is jealous."  
  
"Ooookaaayy," uttered the Hylian Princess.  
  
"Zelda!" Link got up from his seat. "You won't go with those Princes, will you? I mean, you have me!" Link placed his hands on his chest.  
  
Zelda snorted. "Uh-huh. And you have Malon."  
  
Link grinned. "Uh-huh. I have Mal- wait!"  
  
Zelda and the two Princes walked away from the Hero of Time.  
  
Link laughed hysterically. "I know what! Zelda, you're jealous! You're just plain ol' jealous! That's it! Isn't it!"  
  
Once again, Zelda snorted.  
  
Roy looked at the red princess. "Thou just wanted to make him jealous. Thou did not have to come if thou desired to still be with thy hero."  
  
"You're right, Roy. I guess, we'll go out some other time."  
  
"Yea, another time," replied Roy.  
  
The Princes watched go back to Link.  
  
"Roy, if acting," Marth put four fingers to make quotation marks, "'gay' won't work out , go ask Zelda for her help. And promise me that thou won't go too far."  
  
"I'm not tempted, dear friend."  
  
"Be sure of that, Roy. I'm so beautiful, you might fall for me, you won't even know it!"  
  
"I said I'm NOT tempted," Roy uttered as he linked arm in arm with his companion. "Let us go find Princess Peach."  
  
***  
  
Peach ran around the SSBM kingdom, frantically searching for her Prince. "Where's Roy? Mario might come for me any minute!"  
  
Soon, Mario did come out of the clinic wearing more bandages.  
  
The Princess saw Mario from afar and screeched, "ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY!!!!!"  
  
Now holding hands with Marth, Roy heard Peach calling his name and groaned.  
  
"Roy," muttered Marth, "Everyone is gawking at us. Can we go back to linking arms?"  
  
"If we are going to make this act convincing, I'm going to hold hands with thou."  
  
"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOY!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Once again, Roy groaned. "Ah, this woman is getting on my nerves. I must goeth towards her!" Roy dragged his friend behind him as he stopped his way towards Princess Toadstool's scream.  
  
"Roy, thou doth notices that thou is dragging thy friend by the hand, correct?" uttered Marth.  
  
"Sorry, Marth. I have no choice."  
  
"If thou wants to make this act convincing and interesting, why can't thee carry me?"  
  
Roy paused and stopped dragging his companion. "Thou is right. And thank the gods thou is light."  
  
Marth clapped his hands with joy. "Yea! I don' t have to walk or be dragged!"  
  
Roy swept Marth off his feet (literally) and resumed his stomping towards the Princess.  
  
"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOY!" screeched Peach.  
  
"What!?" bellowed Roy, who was right behind the Princess.  
  
Princess Toadstool sighed with relief. "Good, you're here," Peach sang as she turned around to look at her red-haired Prince. "Now save me from-" Peach saw Roy carrying Marth in his arms with bulged eyes.  
  
"Why thou art stareth at me?" inquired Marth.  
  
Peach took a step back. "Wha? I didn't think you were serious about Marth!"  
  
Marth stuck his tongue out.  
  
Peach saw that Roy did not have a straight face. "Wait. You probably dragged Marth into this. It doesn't look like you're serious with him."  
  
"Well-" Roy was cut off.  
  
"Well, we are! But he really did drag me here." Marth wrapped his arms around his friend's neck.  
  
Roy became flustered. "And thou tells me not to go too far!" he whispered.  
  
"I'm trying to make this situation convincing!" Marth whispered back.  
  
Peach suspected the two were putting on an act and became angry. "To prove you guys are serious, KISS!"  
  
The best friends became bug-eyed.  
  
"C'mon! I'm thinking this is an act. If you want to convince me this is all true, KISS!"  
  
Roy hesitantly kissed Marth on the forehead.  
  
"ON THE LIPS!" she hissed.  
  
Letting Marth down, Marth and Roy looked at each other very nervously. Peach grinned evilly. Moving closer to Marth, Roy tried to kiss his companion, who took a step back. Roy closed his eyes, but Marth's eyes bulged as his best friend's lips came closer to his, Marth became flustered and took his sword out of its scabbard.  
  
"I CAN NOT DO THIS!" Marth used his Justice Sword on Roy and sent him flying in the air. Watching his friend sailing through the air, Marth uttered, "Oops."  
  
"Ha! You weren't serious!" Peach went up to her redhead Prince. "Please don't do that," she gazed in to Roy's blue eyes. "I-I really like you. And I want you to be my Prince."  
  
Roy just frowned.  
  
All of the sudden, it seemed like Roy was crawling backwards, but he wasn't using any of his limbs. Marth was dragging his comrade by the cape.  
  
"Hey!" screeched Peach. "What do you think you're doing?!"  
  
Marth held his head up high. "He's MY Prince!"  
  
Roy bopped his friend on the head. "The act is over!"  
  
"But it was just getting better and more fun."  
  
"OVER!"  
  
Marth sighed as Roy dusted himself off. "Let us findeth the Princess Zelda."  
  
Peach's eyes twitched. "Trying to replace me with a different princess?"  
  
Marth and Roy ran off instead of answering the question.  
  
***  
  
Zelda sighed as Link continued to ramble about Malon. 'Maybe I should've gone with Roy. It sounded like Link was a bit jealous. Marth and Roy are cute too."  
  
"Don't you think Malon is wife material? Her old man Talon even asked me if I wanted to marry her when I was only ten!"  
  
Zelda screamed as she slammed her hand down on the bleachers. "Link! I've already heard too much about Malon from you!"  
  
Link blinked a couple of times. "You're right. You talk about Malon!"  
  
Zelda screamed in frustration.  
  
"Princess Zelda!" chorused the two Princes.  
  
Zelda plugged her ears. "I'm not listening Link!"  
  
*Link sweatdropped*  
  
"Princess Zelda!" yelled Martha and Roy as they came closer to the two Hylians.  
  
Zelda hummed as she still plugged her ears. "Soooooooomedaaaaaaayy my Priiiiiiince will cooooooomeee."  
  
Zelda looked to her side to see Marth and Roy pant as they gasped for air from running fast.  
  
"Oh! My Princes came pretty fast! If I sing about Link to stop talking about Malon, I wonder if he'll stop!"  
  
Link glared at the Princess next to him.  
  
"Princess Zelda. I need thy help. Thou must help me to get Peach off my back," begged Roy.  
  
Well.Peach is a friend of mine. Why don't you ask Mario? He'll be happy to help you get Peach back with him."  
  
"Uh.I think Mario hates me because Peach wants me."  
  
"Oh, right."  
  
Zelda looked at her hero talking to Marth about Malon as the blue-haired boy listened with a big sweatdrop on his head.  
  
"Yes!" Zelda yelled, trying to make sure Link heard her. "I will be your girlfriend, Roy!"  
  
Link glared at the Hylian Princess and snorted.  
  
"Thank you. Now, this is the plan I had in mind," replied Roy as the Princess and Princes huddled in a circle.  
  
***  
  
"Princess, please," Mario begged on his knees, hands over his heart.  
  
Peach stared hard at the plumber. "No Mario! I'm getting tired of you! No more dates with you! You're always late! No more kisses from you! They were sloppy anyway! No more spending nights with you! You don't even do anything! Just no more Mario!" she screeched.  
  
Mario's heart broke again. The bundles of flowers at Peach's feet were crushed by her heels.  
  
((to be continued.))  
  
***  
  
A/N: Oh! I made a sad ending! I wanna make a poll!  
  
Who do you feel sorry for the most?  
  
Mario because of Peach (A)  
  
Roy because of Peach (B)  
  
Marth because of Roy (C)  
  
Zelda because of Link (D)  
  
Peach because of Mario (E)  
  
Roy because of Marth (F)  
  
Fox because of Doctor Mario (G)  
  
Mario because of Fox (H)  
  
Mario because of Roy (I)  
  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!! TOO MANY OPTIONS!!!! Oh well...  
  
I'm thinking A... Until next time! 


	5. How To Rid a Plumber

Author's Note: The polls are in and the winner is...*dun dun dun duuuuuuuun!* A. Mario because of Peach with 4 votes! In second place is a tie between D (Zelda because of Link) and C (Marth because of Roy) with 1 vote! This is really pathetic.....hahaha....if u want, you peepz can still vote....  
  
Sorry if you waited long. Can you believe that I'm busy during the summer and I'm not even taking summer school?! *gasps*  
  
Disclaimer: Again...I do not own any of these characters. If I said I did, no one would believe me so why would any one say they own any of these characters unless they made up their own character??? But I would like to own Marth, Roy, and Link....seksi mamaz...*droolz again*  
  
***  
  
Peach stomped away from the heartbroken plumber. As Mario watched her go, he gritted his teeth in anger of his loss. "Was I really this boring?" He pounded his hands to the pavement in frustration. "I need to get her back!"  
  
"Then show her that you're not as boring as you are and look," his brother replied.  
  
Mario looked up to see his younger sibling. "How long have you been there?"  
  
"Just long enough to see you look so pathetic over a princess who doesn't love you anymore...or DOES she?"  
  
Mario stopped his crying. "What do you mean by that?"  
  
Luigi stared hard at his clueless older brother. "I'm saying that I think she's only doing an experiment. She's trying a cliché. You know. A Princess must marry a Prince in fairy tales. So she's looking for a Prince to call her own."  
  
Mario jumped up. "So all I have to do is dress up as a prince?"  
  
"Ahh....no. It's the royalty, the blood. Not playing dress up. It's not going to be easy winning her back since you're only a fat plumber."  
  
Mario punched Luigi. "How dare you call your older brother FAT!" Mario rubbed his throbbing hand. "Anyways, how do you know all this?"  
  
"I read books and watch lots of movies unlike you. You're always at the dinner table eating your heart out."  
  
Mario punched his brother again and rubbed his sore bandaged hand. "So you're saying that deep down, Peach still loves me?"  
  
Luigi shrugged. "I don't know." Mario's head dropped. "But maybe she still does." The red plumber's head came back up. "But I don't really know. I'm not her." Once again, Mario's head dropped.  
  
"Stop doing that!" Mario grabbed his brother by his collar and began shaking him. "My feelings are not to be toyed with!!! You've got to help me win Peach back!" He continued to shake his brother violently waiting for an answer, not noticing Luigi became dizzy and therefore unconscious. "Luigi?" The plumber stopped his shaking and saw his brother was lifeless. "Oooooooohh nooooooo! I killed my brother! I didn't realize he was so fragile!"  
  
"He's only unconscious," Roy clarified, slightly knocking Mario on the head with the back of his hand.  
  
Mario turned around to see the Prince who stole Peach's heart, with Zelda and Marth with him, behind him. "Yoooouuu....."  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"I'm going to take back what is rightfully mine!"  
  
"Take her."  
  
Mario stared at the Price dimwittedly. "Huh?"  
  
"I said take her. I don't like her. She's too clingy. If she refuses to be handed to thee, I'll just toss her to Bowser."  
  
"Don't treat the Princess like she's just an item!" barked Mario.  
  
"Yeah, she's a friend of mine," Zelda replied from behind Roy.  
  
The red-head rubbed his head. "My apologies. I'm just not too fond of her."  
  
Mario took a look at the Hylian Princess behind Roy. "Are you two-timing my Princess?!"  
  
"I don't think it's called two timing if thou are not really together with the other person."  
  
"Actually, it is!" Luigi pointed out as he got up from the ground.  
  
Luigiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! You're aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!" Mario hugged his brother. Mario looked at the red-haired Prince. "For treating Peach that way, I challenge you to a fight!"  
  
Roy scratched his head. "Thou art sure? Thou art hurt and still covered in bandages, and after this, we still have another battle to fight in a couple days."  
  
"I'm healthy enough! My body is in great shape!"  
  
Marth walked up to the bandaged plumber and flicked his shoulder, causing Mario to fall over in pain. Looking at this, Marth began to laugh hysterically. "What a weak man!"  
  
"Grrrr..." Mario growled as he saw the Royal group laughing. Looking at his brother, who was also snickering, he grabbed the pant leg of Luigi's overalls. "Fine! A team battle! You and pretty boy blue over there and me and my brother!"  
  
Roy and Marth ceased to laugh, but still chuckled a bit. "Sure! But heal up a bit! Thou art still an easy target!"  
  
Mario fumed at hearing 'easy target' because he was sure he was not one. "I'll show you who is an easy target! Battle over Final Destination! Now!"  
  
Luigi grabbed his older brother before he could start heading over the battle arena. "Why did you drag me into this?! I'm the only one who's going to fight if you're battling in this condition!"  
  
"I'll show them who's an easy target!" he hollered.  
  
Luigi sighed and shook his head as he let his brother go.  
  
***  
  
Mario, Luigi, Marth, Roy, and Zelda arrived at the battle arena: Final Destination and Mario right away climbed on the stage. Luigi and Marth got on right after, but Roy didn't get on just yet. Before he headed up, he motioned Zelda to come closer and when she did, he whispered something in her ear and got up to the stage.  
  
"I hope this loss won't go on my record," grumbled Luigi as he took his stance.  
  
"We don't need to worry about losing because we are going to win, Luigi!" Mario said confidently.  
  
Roy and Marth took their stances and looked hard at their opponents just as they were looking hard at them. After a long time of staring down, Mario began running at Roy, only to sprain his ankle from sprinting. Watching Mario's every move, Roy and Marth began chuckling at his fall. Luigi only began shaking his head at his brother's tendency to look like a fool.  
  
"Mama Mia... You can't do anything by yourself." Luigi grabbed Mario by the hand and started heading over Marth and Roy's way.  
  
Roy and Marth became serious as Luigi came closer. "Thou doth notice that thou is dragging thy brother, correct?" Roy asked.  
  
Luigi smirked. "You'll see why I'm doing that in about...2.5 seconds." In a flash Luigi threw Mario up by the hands and swirled around in a circle, smacking both Marth and Roy, causing them to fly backwards.  
  
Rubbing his cheek, Marth gritted his teeth. "How dare thou ruin my beautiful face!" Drawing the Falchion (is that his sword?) out from its scabbard, Marth dashed at the fleeing Luigi, who was still holding on to Mario.  
  
"How dare you use me like that! If anyone is going to do that, I am!" Mario disputed.  
  
"It's the only way to make yourself useful!" Luigi answered.  
  
With his speed, Marth caught up with the brothers in no time, slashing Luigi's arm so he could let go of Mario. "Roy! Thou will take care of Mario! I will take on Luigi!"  
  
Roy took out his Sword of Seals and approached the bandaged plumber. Seeing that Mario can barely stand up, Roy put his trusty sword back into its scabbard.  
  
"Why? Take a swing at me! I dare you!" Mario hollered.  
  
"Thou art not a formidable opponent in that condition. I'd say thou art already down and out. Thou only need to be knocked out of the stage."  
  
"I am more than you can handle in this shape!" Mario snapped as he got up, ankle feeling a bit better.  
  
"Fine. I'll fight with my bare hands unless I need to draw my sword."  
  
Mario raced over to Roy, but Roy simply dodged him, grabbed him from behind, and tossed him aside. "Please stop this madness. I do not want to hurt ye more."  
  
"No!" Mario hollered as he got up, cringingly. "I am more than enough for you!"  
  
The Prince of Pharae sighed. "I guess there is only one way to rid of you."  
  
Mario rushed over to Roy's location. As soon as he met Roy's path, he became ready to launch his uppercut, but Roy quickly got his sword out and used his Counter, causing Mario to fly off the stage.  
  
"My apologies. Thou was becoming a nuisance. I wonder how Marth is doing with Luigi."  
  
As soon as Roy tuned around to see how his comrade was doing, Marth flew right past him from the impact of Luigi's Green Rocket.  
  
"Does thou need my help?"  
  
"Yes. Just to make this barbarian lose miserably than he will already be."  
  
Luigi laughed at Marth's answer. "You only say that because you are the one losing."  
  
Marth fumed at Luigi's cockiness (even though he too is somewhat like that). "I'll show ye my true power!" Marth, with all his speed, sprinted to Luigi. But Luigi only stepped out of the way, causing Marth to almost fall off the stage. While Marth was trying to regain his balance over the edge, Luigi walked up to Marth and kicked him so he could lose his balance. Still trying to get on stage, Marth double-jumped to the stage, but Luigi intercepted his jump with a powerful kick, causing Marth to lose.  
  
Roooooooooooooooooooooy! Why did ye not help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?!" Marth uttered as he fell.  
  
"That's one down," Luigi muttered.  
  
"Well, now. I guess it is just you and me." Roy took his stance and so did Luigi until a high-pitched voice called out from the stands.  
  
"Roooooooooooy! Mewtwo here wanted me to tell you that he and Mr. Game and Watch are going to have a battle here in five minutes, so you should get off because this isn't a tournament battle!" Peach sang.  
  
Roy and Luigi dropped their stances and quietly left the stage.  
  
Peach began running over Roy's way when Zelda noticed her friend's arrival. 'Remember. If Peach comes my way, you're going to have to beat her to me. And try to be affectionate with me, but don't go too far.' -Zelda remembered Roy's words. 'Well, if I'm going to help him, it's best I'd do it now.'  
  
Peach almost reached her Prince when another blonde blocked her way, hugging Roy.  
  
"Oh, Roy! I hope you weren't too hurt!" Zelda exclaimed. Roy blushed violently.  
  
Seeing this, Peach fumed. "Zelda! You're supposed to be my friend! What are you doing with Roy?"  
  
"You didn't know? Roy and I have been secretly seeing each other!" Zelda explained as she gave Roy a peck on the cheek, only to cause Roy to blush even more and Peach to become angrier.  
  
"I don't believe you. I know for a fact that you're still hooked on Link! Besides, Roy and Marth were talking about finding you earlier."  
  
Zelda paused for a moment. "Well, everyone must have a crush on another guy even though they have a boyfriend, right? Besides. Roy and I got separated for a moment earlier today. Right, Roy?" Zelda asked.  
  
"Yes! Yes, she speaks the truth!" Roy stammered.  
  
Tears began to well up in Princess Toadstool's eyes. "Roy. How could you. And I really really like you." She turned her heels, ready to walk away until a dark shadow suddenly appeared.  
  
Out from the sky, Bowser dropped without warning in front of the lady. "Princess," he bellowed as he grabbed hold of her smooth arm.  
  
"What do you want, Bowser?" Peach muttered as she rolled her eyes.  
  
"I heard you have trouble with your Prince. How about having a king for a boyfriend? I am, after all, the King of Koopas!" Bowser snatched Peach from in front of him, threw her over his shoulder, and began running towards his Koopa lair.  
  
"Ouch," Marth grumbled as he appeared getting up a ladder from below. Looking around, he saw that Peach was not there. "I thought I heard that pestering Princess here. What happened to her?"  
  
"Bowser has captured her again for the 666th time. (Oooh evil number!!!!) Mario replied as he too, got up from the ladder. "Looks like I'm gong to have to save her again."  
  
"No," Roy insisted. "You're still too hurt. I will go after her. I am, after all, a gentleman and must live by the gentlemen's code. Chivalry is not dead yet!"  
  
"Ummm, what does chivalry have to do with saving a Princess?" Zelda asked.  
  
"No clue!" Roy answered. "All I know is that, I promised to protect her, even though she is irritating." With that, Roy began sprinting after Bowser.  
  
Mario watched the Prince running toward Bowser's lair. "He may be a Prince, but I'm the one who has to be rescuing the damsel in distress. She's MY Princess." Mario then also began dashing over to Bowser's castle.  
  
***  
  
A/N: Pretty short chapter, no? Sorry! I promise promise I'll have the next one up sooner! Please continue reading or I'll have no inspiration to keep on writing and I won't be able to finish this story and I want to finish this story!!!! Oh boy I'm acting desperate... 


	6. Princessnapped!

A/N: It's up sooner than before right? I thought that I should put another chapter up before I leave for the Philippines.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any SSBM characters. And now, for the usual ritual, I shall drool over Marth, Roy, and Link. ::Drools:: sexy mamaz....  
  
***  
  
"So, Princess. Why don't you tell me how Roy is neglecting you? I will make everything up to you!" Bowser asked as he ran towards his castle.  
  
"For a pin cushion with worse hair than I've seen in a shower drain, you're pretty persistent, ain't ya?" sighed Peach. She tapped her manicured fingers on his rough scaly skin.  
  
"You're not fighting back this time."  
  
"That's because I know that Roy will come to rescue me," Peach said arrogantly as she looked behind her. "Cause he's right behind you."  
  
Bowser looked as his back to see if the Princess was right, and she was. Not only was Roy at his tail, but he was also ready to slash it with his sword. "No!" He jumped high in the air with Peach screaming at the top of her lungs and landed somewhere in a nearby forest.  
  
Roy stopped his running and gasped for air. "Lost him." As soon as he said that, Mario came by running as fast as he could in his condition towards Bowser's lair. 'Perhaps if I follow Mario, he can lead me to Bowser's castle! If I don't rescue this damsel in distress, I will be a disgrace to all my people.'  
  
Mario looked back and blew raspberry as he passed up the Prince, only to run into a signpost saying in bold letters, "Bowser's castle is up ahead".  
  
'Well, he hath helped one way or another,' Roy thought as he continued his running towards the castle. As he passed by the half conscious Mario, he called, "I thank you, Mario!"  
  
Mario got up slowly and looked carefully at the sign he ran into. In fine print, it read "Look for upcoming signs that will lead to Bowser's castle. They are most likely hidden behind trees."  
  
***  
  
Peach groaned. "Crap. Now Roy must've lost his way. Now Mario or Luigi are the ones who know the way to your castle."  
  
"Bwahahahahaha!" Bowser chortled in his joy as he continued running through the forest, dodging branches as he went. Unfortunately, he dodges the branches while Peach gets hit by them. ((Maybe he's hoping for her to get unconscious))  
  
"Ow! Watch where you're goin, you beast!" Peach cried as she got hit by another branch. She saw an upcoming branch and ducked before it can hit her. But instead of hitting her, her crown was caught by it without her noticing it. "Ha! I saw that one coming!"  
  
Bowser grumbled as he jumped again to see where he was going, but he couldn't see his lair anywhere. "Crap. I'm, lost."  
  
***  
  
"I'm lost! Roy yelled as he wound up in the same place where he started. "That signpost lied to me!"  
  
Marth and Zelda, who were standing nearby, laughed.  
  
"Why do thou not try taking the path Bowser hath taken?" Marth asked. "We shall help you, right Zelda?"  
  
"I'll try my best," she replied.  
  
Roy sighed. "Fine. Follow my lead." Roy lead them to where he was about to cut the Koopa King's tail, when he jumped. "So he must be somewhere in yon forest."  
  
So the three stepped into the forest, looking for the damsel in distress.  
  
***meanwhile at Bowser's castle***  
  
"Did I get here before Bowser did?" Mario asked himself.  
  
***  
  
"Don't you even know the way to your own castle?!" Peach yelled as she kicked and punched the Koopa King as he desperately searched for a way out of the forest.  
  
"I forget sometimes! I even put signposts up just in case I get lost! But I put those at the edge of the forest!"  
  
"Okay! I've had enough of this! I only went along to see if Roy would come and save me! But you got lost on your way to your own castle! Rooooooooooooy! Rooooooooooy! Roooooooooooooy!"  
  
"Shut yer trap! I'm doing the best I can to bring you to my lair! I will lock you up and make you fall in love with me! Bwahahaha!"  
  
"That has been your master plan for five years! And you can't even carry out the part of bringing me to your castle for half of the time!"  
  
"Hey! I'm doing my best!"  
  
The argument between the King and Princess continued loud enough for the Royal party to hear.  
  
"You hear that, don't you? It's Peach and Bowser arguing! We're not too far from them!" Zelda exclaimed.  
  
The three kept looking around when Marth spotted something shining on them from up above. He immediately saw Peach's crown on a branch not too high above them. "Look, it is the Princess's crown!" Taking it from the branch, he examined it for quite a while. "I wonder if I look beautiful in a crown?" Marth took his tiara off and placed the crown on his head. "Roy! Zelda! How do I look?"  
  
The Prince and Princess began sweat dropping.  
  
"I will take that as a not good," he answered himself as he took off the crown and replaced it with his tiara.  
  
***  
  
"Aha! My Princess! I have found a way out!" Bowser exclaimed as he saw a clearing in the forest.  
  
"Whoopty do!" Peach grumbled as she twirled her pointing finger in a circle.  
  
"See! There's a signpost behind that tree! I can find my way home!" he cried as he pointed to a signpost behind an oak tree.  
  
"I don't know if that's smart or stupid."  
  
Bowser continued carrying peach all the way to his castle successfully. When he reached the doors that lead to the inside, Mario was asleep at the bottom of them.  
  
"How did he get here before I did?" Bowser asked, astonished.  
  
"Because you got lost on the way to your OWN castle! My question is, why did he get here before Roy did?"  
  
"I don't care. At last! The opportunity to rid of Mario forever has dawned upon me! I must take advantage of this situation!" Bowser dropped Peach and was ready to pounce on the snoring plumber, when Peach got in the way.  
  
"Don't you DARE touch him!" Peach bellowed.  
  
Bowser was confused at Peach's reaction. "I thought you want to get rid of him?"  
  
Peach now noticed what she was doing. It was a reflex action. Perhaps, deep in her heart, she still cares for Mario. But she didn't want to accept it. "I...I d-do want hi-him out of my life," she stammered. "But ummm..... But not by you."  
  
Bowser groaned. For almost all his life, he devoted himself to get rid of Mario and win the Princess's heart. "Well, fine. I'll just leave him there." Bowser picked Peach up once again, opened the other door, and stomped his way into his castle.  
  
***  
  
"There is a path up ahead!" Roy shouted as he found the clearing Bowser took to find his way out. "This must be where Bowser got out!"  
  
"Finally!" Marth and Zelda exclaimed, Marth still hanging on to the crown.  
  
"Hey, Marth," said Zelda as the trio began walking on the path out of the forest.  
  
"Hmmm?" answered Marth.  
  
"Can I see the crown?" asked the Hylian Princess.  
  
Marth examined the crown once again. "Uhhhhhhhhhh.........No."  
  
Zelda's jaw dropped. "What?"  
  
"I said, no. Why?"  
  
"I just want to see it. No harm in doing that! I mean, I always see it on Peach's head. I never got a good look at it."  
  
The Prince of Altea shook the golden crown in front of the Hylian Princess's face. "Thou sees with thine eyes, not with thy hands!"  
  
Zelda began to turn red from anger. "I just want to see it just for a quick moment!"  
  
"Thou hath already seen it for a quick moment!" Marth taunted as he hid the crown behind his back.  
  
Roy began to be annoyed at the immature argument the Prince and Princess were having. "Marth! Stop acting so childish! For goodness sakes! Thou art older than us!"  
  
Marth stopped his taunting, and Zelda just looked straight ahead as she continued walking.  
  
There was a silence for a moment until...  
  
"Just one quick look..." Zelda pleaded.  
  
"No."  
  
"Aw! C'mon!"  
  
Roy grumbled at his companion's ongoing quarrel.  
  
***  
  
"Where's Roy?!" Peach screamed as she lay on a big cushion in a guest bedroom within the castle.  
  
The door to the bedroom creaked and then a Koopa came in. "Princess. Dinner will be served in thirty minutes." And then went back out.  
  
Peach snorted. "Roy better be here before that time."  
  
***  
  
"Night hath fallen! We must make haste to the castle!" Roy instructed as he pointed to the castle up ahead.  
  
The trio began running to the castle where the Koopa King dwelled. They reached the doors and saw Mario at the foot of one of the doors, snoring.  
  
The three sweat dropped until Roy broke the silence.  
  
"I wonder how long he's been there."  
  
"Raviolis!" Mario spoke in his sleep. "I love Raviolis!"  
  
"Wow," Zelda said shakily. "I didn't know Mario can talk in his sleep."  
  
"Raviolis! Ah! Raviolis!"  
  
"Is Raviolis all he ever thinks about?" Zelda asked herself.  
  
"Oh, yeah!" Mario pointed his finger to the sky. "Supreme pizza!"  
  
Marth began to chuckle. "I think we should leave him alone. Roy, you go inside to save Peach. We will watch over Mario."  
  
"If thou insist." Roy opened the other door and ran inside to find Peach.  
  
As soon as Roy left, Marth and Zelda slumped down on he wall Mario was leaning on.  
  
The two were silent until...  
  
"Just one quick look?" Zelda asked.  
  
***  
  
"Ah, Princess. You look beautiful tonight!" Bowser complimented Peach from across the long table.  
  
"What are you talking about? I'm still wearing the same white dress that unfortunately, you've DAMAGED and it's the only other color I have besides pink!."  
  
Bowser sweat dropped. "Well, you still look lovely."  
  
"What do you mean? I have a lump on my head the size of a basketball from hitting all those branches from earlier!"  
  
"Uhhhhh..... You're still as elegant as ever."  
  
"I'll show you elegant!" Peach rolled up her sleeves ((well...they're practically already rolled up)) and began to stomp on the table to where Bowser was, when Roy burst in the room.  
  
"Princess Peach! I've come here to save you!"  
  
Peach stopped where she was and sighed for relief. "Finally! What took you so long?"  
  
"I got lost," the Prince replied.  
  
"See? I'm not the only one!" Bowser exclaimed.  
  
"Maybe so, but this isn't HIS castle!" Peach snapped.  
  
Roy drew the Sword of Seals from its scabbard. "Are you ready to release the princess?"  
  
Bowser looked at the Prince, then the Princess, then back at Roy. "No."  
  
"Then get ready for a battle."  
  
***  
  
"What's that noise?" Zelda asked Marth as they looked down the path they took.  
  
On the path, Donkey Kong, Dr. Mario, Kirby, Pikachu, and the Ice Climbers came running towards the castle.  
  
Zelda and Marth watched them go inside the castle, but managed to stop Nana and Popo from entering.  
  
"What is going on?" Marth asked Popo.  
  
"Luigi has informed us that there may be a battle at this place."  
  
"And all of you managed to get here without getting lost?"  
  
"There were signposts to guide us here!" Nana answered.  
  
"Didn't you notice them?" Luigi, who was riding on Yoshi, asked as he stopped before the two royals.  
  
"Well, Roy said he tried to follow them, but he got lost following it," Zelda responded to the green plumber.  
  
"Well, on the first signpost, in fine print, it says that you need to find other signposts hidden behind trees to help you on your way to the Koop King's lair. So is Mario inside? How about Roy?"  
  
"Roy is inside, but as you can see," Marth pointed at his side to where the still snoring plumber lay, "he's asleep."  
  
Luigi's jaw dropped. "How did this happen?!"  
  
"I guess he got here before Bowser did and fell asleep waiting for him," Zelda shrugged.  
  
"Well, we're gonna go inside! See yah!" The Ice Climbers went inside to see if there was a battle going on.  
  
"Why didn't anyone wake him up?!" Luigi asked, but soon he sighed. "It's his fault. He doesn't get to save Peach, which may win her back."  
  
"But if Roy didn't save her, then he would've broken his promise to the Princess Peach," Marth added.  
  
The three of them sighed in harmony.  
  
"Well! Time to go inside!" Luigi exclaimed as he began walking inside Bowser's lair.  
  
***  
  
"Dragon Killer!" Roy hollered as he was about to hit Bowser at full power.  
  
"No! Stop! Have mercy!" Bowser begged as he held up a white flag.  
  
Roy put his sword down. "Are ye willing to hand over the Princess that easily?"  
  
Bowser quickly threw the white flag away and tripped Roy with his tail. "No."  
  
Roy fell on the cold floor, his sword flying afar, but he quickly got up, rubbing his rear. "Liar!" He began to head the way his sword flew, only to be blocked by the Koopa King.  
  
"Now you can't use your sword!" Bowser crossed his arms and began to laugh haughtily.  
  
Seeing that Bowser wasn't paying attention through all his laughing, Roy took advantage of the situation and punched the Koopa King in the jaw, causing him to fly to the wall behind him. Roy quickly grabbed his sword and began charging it.  
  
Bowser got up slowly, glaring at the red haired Prince before him. "Now you've made me mad."  
  
Peach set foot on the long extended dining table and began to stomp to where a bowl of fruits were placed. She picked up an apple and threw it at Bowser's head.  
  
"I'm going to pretend I didn't feel that," he mumbled.  
  
Bowser charged at the Prince. As soon as he met the pathway of Roy's sword, he dodged the one-hit KO attack by sidestepping and head butted the young man.  
  
Roy slammed onto the wall behind him. He dropped his sword and held his stomach in pain.  
  
Bowser began to stomp his way to the injured Prince when he felt a coconut hit him on the back of his head. ((hehehe...there's a coconut in a fruit bowl... I don't think I see much of that...)) The Koopa King turned around, only to be hit in the face with a pineapple by Peach.  
  
"What's your problem?!" Bowser howled from the pain of getting hit by fruit.  
  
"What's my problem? My problem is obvious! You!" She threw an orange at Bowser's eye.  
  
"What have I done?!"  
  
Peach glared at him.  
  
"Oh, right..."  
  
The Princess then threw a tomato at his face.  
  
"Don't butt in my battle!" Bowser cried as he wiped the tomato from his face.  
  
"Well, don't hurt my Prince!" She threw the entire fruit bowl at Bowser.  
  
Bowser dodged the rest of the fruit and the bowl that were carrying them. "Ha! You have no fruit left! Whatcha gonna do?!"  
  
"She is going to do nothing!" Roy called from behind. "Because I'm the one who will do the damage!" Roy slashed the Koopa's tail.  
  
"Why you little-" Bowser turned around, only to be hit again at the back of his head. "Now what are you throwing?!" he turned around again, only to see Peach holding up a turnip. "Where did you get those turnips?"  
  
Peach looked at the vegetable in her hand. "I dunno."  
  
"Dragon Killer!" ((That's an attack. He's not calling Bowser a dragon killer)) Roy shouted from behind. He inflicted damage to Bowser as well as Peach as she threw her vegetables at the Koopa King.  
  
The King crouched, and then kneeled on the floor, covering his head. "I give up! I give up! Don't hurt me anymore!"  
  
The Prince and Princess ceased their attacks, and Bowser ran out of the dining room, crying. As soon as he left, many cheers were heard outside the door.  
  
***meanwhile, outside at about the same time***  
  
Mario stopped his snoring and woke up from the loud cheers. "Princess Peach! I must save her!"  
  
"No need to Mario. Roy has already done that," Zelda answered.  
  
"Sorry, Mario," said Marth.  
  
Mario's eyes began to water. "I've failed again..." Mario sullenly plodded away.  
  
***about half and hour later***  
  
Roy held his aching stomach from the pain Bowser caused him. "Ah! The pain! Aside from the pain, I am famished! I have not had a thing to eat!"  
  
Marth heard his stomach grumble. "Ah, me too."  
  
"Roy! Marth! Zelda!" Peach turned around to face her group. "How about you guys come with me to this great restaurant that's also a karaoke bar? I'll treat!"  
  
"For what?" Roy asked.  
  
"That you and I are safe, silly!" she giggled.  
  
"Roy! Let us goeth with the Princess!"  
  
Roy looked at his friend with surprise. "Thou are the last person I would have expected to hear that from. Why, Marth?"  
  
"I like to sing!" he replied.  
  
The other three looked at the vain Prince with sweat drops on their heads.  
  
"You can sing?" Peach asked.  
  
"Why, yes! Anyone can sing!"  
  
"Sure, anyone can sing. But not just anyone can sing WELL."  
  
"I'll show you at this restaurant you talk about!"  
  
"Let's just hope he's as good as he says he is," whispered Zelda.  
  
***at the karaoke bar/restaurant***  
  
"C'mon, Roy! Let me rub your back! It must be aching after that fight with that beast!" Peach cooed in the Prince's ears.  
  
Roy coughed, trying to get Zelda's attention.  
  
"Oh!" Zelda quickly shoved Peach off of Roy and began massaging his back. "Sorry, Roy honey."  
  
Peach watched her Hylian friend as she was rubbing his sore back on the floor and began to curse under her breath. 'That Roy! He should be flattered that I want him. I'll find a way to get back at him.'  
  
"Yea! The karaoke bar is mine!" Marth cried as the person before him finished her song.  
  
"Puff!"  
  
Marth felt a heavy punch at his leg. He looked down to find a pink Pokemon at his feet.  
  
"Puff!" Jigglypuff threw another punch at Marth's leg.  
  
The blue haired Prince picked up the balloon Pokemon and stared hard at her. "That hurt, doth thou knoeth that?"  
  
Jigglypuff frowned at the Prince of Altea, and then began double-slapping him.  
  
Peach, Roy, and Zelda became bug-eyed at the scene.  
  
"Whoa! Marth is being B**** slapped by a Pokemon!" Peach exclaimed.  
  
The next moment, you see the pink Pokemon being thrown out the nearest window.  
  
"Now why did that thing begin to punch me?" Marth asked.  
  
"Maybe it was going to sing before you, but she was so small, you didn't notice her. Therefore, making her mad because it was supposed to be her turn to sing," Roy replied.  
  
Marth rubbed his head in embarrassment. "Oops. Oh, well! The karaoke bar is now mine!" The Prince grabbed the microphone and pressed the numbers on the control. On the screen appeared the words, "Ai to Iu Na no Tatakai..." ((The English title is Into the Battle Called Love. Yes! It's Tamahome of Fushigi Yuugi's song! Tamahome and Marth have the same voice actor- Hikaru Midorikawa...haha I doubt I'd ever see that at a karaoke bar...))  
  
First an instrumental played, then came the song, and Marth opened his mouth to sing.  
  
Marth's group began to plug their ears, expecting a horrible voice, but instead, Marth had a wonderful singing voice.  
  
"Now moete-iru kokoro ga honoo wo agete. Cry inochi ga sakebuyo ikite-iru ore wa..." ((Sorry...it's in Japanese... Well, Marth and Roy don't speak English in the game...but they do in my fic... but Marth doesn't sing in English... ummm.... kinda contradicting?))  
  
At the Royal group's table, Roy and Zelda listened to Marth as he sang, but Peach began to fidget. Peach tapped Zelda on the shoulder. "I'm going to the bathroom." Zelda nodded in reply, and Peach left for the bathroom.  
  
"Massugu ashita mitsumeru hitomi, sono kagayaki ni utareru hi made..." Marth continued to sing, until he was grasped from behind the curtain he was standing in front of, and disappeared in front of everyone's eyes.  
  
((To be continued...))  
  
A/N: Please review and no flames pleeeeeeaaaaassssssseeeeeee! I know there has been much random stuff happening in this chapter. And the fact I made Bowser kinda....ummm... dumb... and the fact that you can't understand what Marth is singing. ::sweat drops:: 


	7. Catch Her If You Can

A/N: I'm sooooooo sorry about the long update! My diskette that contains my fanfics was DESTROYED!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!! So yah... here's the long awaited update and my long awaited ritual of drooling over Marth, Roy, and Link! ::drools::  
  
***  
  
Roy jumped out of his chair. "Marth!"  
  
Everyone in the restaurant gasped as they see the stage where the blue- haired prince sang was as empty as Bowser's head. (Joke!)  
  
Zelda stopped rubbing Roy's back. "I wonder what happened to your friend."  
  
"What happened?!" Peach screamed as she rushed into the scene. "I heard everyone gasping from the ladies' room!"  
  
"Marth disappeared! I think he was kidnapped!" Roy bawled.  
  
Peach tapped her foot on the floor. "Tsk. Tsk. I knew Marth shouldn't have thrown that poor Jigglypuff out the window. It must have been her."  
  
Just as Peach said that, the poor, bruised Pokemon walked through the restaurant door.  
  
"Everyone! Catch that Pokemon!!!" Roy hollered as he charged after Jigglypuff.  
  
Seeing everyone chasing after her, the clueless Pokemon ran out the door for her life. As everyone was distracted getting the balloon Pokemon, Peach calmly walked back into the ladies' room where Marth was unconscious, tied up in the farthest stall.  
  
Peach sighed. "Sorry you were dragged into this, Marth. Not that you can hear me." She picked him up and threw him over her shoulders. "I wonder what I could do to you."  
  
***  
  
"What have I done to deserve such treatment?!" Mario pounded his mug on the bar.  
  
"Refill of beer?" asked the bartender. Mario nodded.  
  
"Me too!" Captain Falcon pounded his empty mug on the bar.  
  
Mario's eyes were bug eyed at seeing Captain Falcon beside him. "How long have you been here?"  
  
"Just about how long you've been here."  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"I got shot down by Samus again," Falcon replied as he chugged down the glass of beer.  
  
Mario stuck out a thumbs up. "Join the club!" The two clinked their mugs together and chugged down the rest of their beer.  
  
Then the door burst open. "Mario!!!"  
  
"Huh?" Mario's eyesight turned very bad and he thought he saw his princess at the door. "Peach?" The plumber staggered his way to the door and clung to 'her' clothes. "Peach! Have you come to take me back?" Mario lifted his head up to kiss the lips when the owner of the clothes yelled out in a very recognizable voice.  
  
"Mario! What are you doing here! And don't point your lips at me again! It's your brother!" Luigi hollered.  
  
"Huh?" Mario's blurry vision became clear and he saw his younger brother before him. "Argh!" he jumped off his sibling.  
  
"Let me ask you again. What are you doing here?" Luigi hollered.  
  
"I'm here to ease my pain. Peach has rejected me once again," Mario sighed.  
  
"Drinking doesn't ease pain! It numbs your brain! That's all! You're coming with me and we are going to devise a plan to win her back!" Luigi grabbed his brother's hand.  
  
"Hey! Take me with you!" Captain Falcon said drawlingly.  
  
"Uhhh.... maybe some other time. Bye!" Luigi raced out the door, dragging Mario with him.  
  
***  
  
Marth opened his eyes slowly and found himself on a luxurious bed. Crying, he rubbed his head into the soft pillow. "Ahh! It hath been such a long time since I slept in one of these!"  
  
"You like?" asked a familiar voice.  
  
Marth lifted his head up to see who was at the door. It was Peach.  
  
"Welcome to my castle."  
  
"What am I doing here?" asked the blue-haired prince.  
  
"Well... obviously I can't get Roy to like me. How would you like to be my prince?"  
  
"I do not like that question. Thou already knoeth my answer." The prince of Altea crossed his arms.  
  
"Thank-you so much! I knew you would come through for me!" Peach smiled.  
  
"That is not my answer! The answer is nay!"  
  
Peach tapped her foot in disappointment. Then she looked up and smiled. "What if I let you live here for the time being? I know you've missed these luxuries."  
  
"I said..." Marth took a look around the room and saw the things he has been missing. He longed for them and the princess knew it. "No."  
  
"What?!" The young lady stomped her feet. "I know you want this! You've been away from home for awhile! Besides, it's late!"  
  
Marth turned his head away cockily. "It's not pretty enough for me."  
  
Peach began to throw a tantrum.  
  
"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. 'Tis not the way a lady should act," Marth teased.  
  
"You want pretty? I'll give you my room!" she screamed.  
  
"Ummmmm.... no. It might turn out too girly."  
  
She only began to throw a fit of temper worse. "Why can't I get a prince?!" She bent down and covered her face and began to cry. "I want to marry a prince like in the fairytales. I can't marry a plumber!" Peach sobbed heavily hoping Marth would feel sorry for her, and maybe he would agree to be her prince. Looking up, she glanced around the room and found that Marth wasn't even there, but the window was open.  
  
"Crocodile tears doth not work on me!" called Marth from outside.  
  
Peach ran to the window and saw Marth running out. "Why is it so hard to get a prince?" She stomped to the guest bed. "It's not pretty enough for me!" Peach mocked. "Marth is too vain. Looks like I have to go after Roy still." Closing her eyes, she began to devise another plan.  
  
***  
  
"I got you!" Roy bellowed as he caught the Pokemon after chasing it for an hour. "What hath thou done with my friend?"  
  
"Puff! Puff! Jigglypuff!" the balloon Pokemon cried.  
  
"I can't understand what she's saying!" Roy yelled in frustration.  
  
"Can someone get a translator?" Zelda asked.  
  
Everyone crowded around the poor frightened Jigglypuff holding torches to intimidate it.  
  
"I am going to ask ye again. What have ye done Marth?"  
  
"What hath who done to me?" Marth asked as he stepped through the crowd.  
  
Roy let go of the pink Pokemon. "Marth! Thou are alright!"  
  
"Of course I am."  
  
"What happened to you?" asked the Hylian princess.  
  
"The Princess Peach took me to her castle after she knocked me unconscious. That is all."  
  
"Peach was the one who kidnapped you?" Roy asked, surprised.  
  
"Yes. She tried to bribe me into being her Prince."  
  
"And thou did not take it? It doth not soundeth like you to turn down such an offer, especially if it is luxuries."  
  
"It was not pretty enough for me," the Prince of Altea said proudly.  
  
Zelda and Roy looked at Marth with disgust.  
  
"I think it's about time to turn in. It's already late," said Zelda as to break the silence.  
  
"Yes. I think it is about time," replied Roy.  
  
"You guys can sleep at my castle," Zelda exclaimed.  
  
"Great!" Roy shouted.  
  
"I get the prettiest room!" Marth declared.  
  
Roy and Zelda sighed.  
  
***  
  
"Here we go!" Luigi slammed a thick book on the desk.  
  
"Bro, what is this?" asked Mario.  
  
"This is a book of fairytales!" the green plumber exclaimed.  
  
"Why are we going to look through this?"  
  
"If you read enough, we may find a way to win your princess's heart back!"  
  
"Luigiiiiiiii, leave me be. I've had a long day. Let me sleep," Mario groaned as he slammed his head on the table and began snoring.  
  
"Hmmm... ok... I'll look by myself." Luigi began reading and was utterly absorb by the stories written in them.  
  
***  
  
"My princess," Bowser bellowed. "I WILL win your heart..."  
  
((To be continued...))  
  
A/N: I know it's short! But at least I updated! Keep on reading! 


End file.
